“Which one of you bitches wants to dance? Hey, you know when you’re doing your usual threesome thing you do on a weekend, and the moonlight’s bouncing off your heads and your arses and everything, does that not get a bit confusing? Right. This is you, okay? Tra-la-la! Millwall! That’s the one! Do you know this chant? ‘Millwall, Millwall, you’re all really dreadful, and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated…”